We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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