What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
