WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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