It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Randomize
