I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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