I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
