I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
