Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
