Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
