nut hugger
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
