I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Randomize
