Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
can u get pink eye on your cock?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
