Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
