And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
