About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Randomize
