need another drink. this is the easiest way
Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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