you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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