Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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