I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
