Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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