You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
