I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Randomize
