stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Randomize
