im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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