Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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