would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
