Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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