I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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