sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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