Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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