He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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