If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
