First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
