just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
