She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
