He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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