Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You took a bar mat shot.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
