i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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