Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
