Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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