I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
