Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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