Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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