why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
