MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You had me at "let me see your balls"
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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