Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
The power of my boobs compel you
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
