But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
