mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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