Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
