2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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