i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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