but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
