Me too!
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
