in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
